5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
