you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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