youre lurking in front of me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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