When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
