the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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