you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
