i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize