New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
