If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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