How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
