i just google imaged poop.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
