just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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