I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize