I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
