i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
