She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
