Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
