I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He passed out mid-signature
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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