He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
