If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
