it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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