Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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