it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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