oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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