Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
