whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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