Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
