People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
