the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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