also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
