she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
