first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
