Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
