Banned from zoo.
Again?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
