i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He shit in the fireplace
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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