a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize