If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize