So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
