What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
