Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
