sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
