dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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