Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
