it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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