Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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