Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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