party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize