i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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