ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize