so that wasnt chicken after all
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
