I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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