Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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