so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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