Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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