we're blogging at a bar
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
