Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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