is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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