I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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