if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Someone came in the potted fern
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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