the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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