he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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