Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
