i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
