Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
